F.E.A.R

False Evidence Appearing Real

This is how Anthony Robbins describes fear, and I'm inclined to agree. Friday morning, that's exactly what I was experiencing. My stomach was doing flip flops, I was feeling on edge and inside going into panic free fall. I was full of self doubt and fear.

In reality, it was ridiculous. I've made easily over 1000 cupcakes in my time. What were my fears? Everything! What if they didn't cook properly, and in all my batches I run out of time or ingredients. What if I run out of liners due to crap cooking? What if I can't get the right colour? What if I run out of icing and my beaters break down so I can't make anymore ( I know...crazy talk!)

 Most of my fears stemmed from the fact I really was going to be pressed for time to get these done. I worked an 11 hour shift at work that day, so couldn't start them until 10pm, then I had to get them to the reception at 9am. So if something went wrong, I had no way of rushing to the shops to get more supplies.

So don't laugh, to ease my fears, Friday morning, before I started work, I actually baked 20 cupcakes, just to reassure myself that, yes, I can cook cupcakes. Plus that night, while baking the actual wedding cupcakes I actually baked 75 of them, just to ensure I could use the absolute best looking ones!

Strangely enough, while actually making the proper wedding cakes, I was loving it. It was fun making them. Instead of being fearful, and stressed, I was relaxed and enjoying what I was doing. I had such a sense of acheivement when I'd finished.

Here's the really cool bit about this experience. I have said no in the past to people who have asked if I can make cakes for big events, claiming, I don't have time, or I'm not good enough. But you know what, I may not be the best, but I certainly give it my best. To add to this new resolve of being open to saying yes, not half an hour after posting my pictures to my Facebook page, I got asked how much I would charge to make a different cupcake from my collection of pictures from a girl I use to work with. How amazing is the world?!?! - if you take a risk, with pure intention, you will be rewarded for your efforts.

So who knows what will come of all this. What I can say is I love cooking cupcakes. And the evidence is in that in my world, I'm never too busy. To take that a step further, maybe that adds weight to my thoughts, if something is just always on you to do list, but never completed, it more about inclination than time.

I thought I'd leave with a few more pictures from my epic cake making night.